I always look forward to gathering with friends. And every year I have high hopes that my entertaining will be less stressful than previous years. But it never failed. Before hosting any party, I could be seen racing through my house lunging at things to stuff into closets like a wild carnivore tracking its next meal. But I’ve learned three tricks and I’ve traded all of that stress in.
These days, I’ve changed. I don’t care about living up to people’s expectations anymore. I fall squarely in the, “If you don’t like the way my house looks or how we live, please feel free not to visit” category of hostesses. I won’t spend my time wondering what you might judge me for. I’m shameless that way. And here’s how you can be a shameless hostess too, in three simple steps.
Simplify To Host A Party As An Introvert
First, I’m an introvert at heart. I recharge my energy by time alone instead of by being with people. Extroverts tend to recharge their energy “batteries” by surrounding themselves with people.
So to simplify my entertaining, I’ve promised myself to only entertain with genuine friends. These are my people; they don’t expect me to be the martyr hostess who plans the food, shops for the food, makes the food, serves the food, and cleans up the food. I’ve been there and done that and I ended up realizing that I’d not said more than “hello” to any of my guests.
Having genuine friends over means they come in and help pass food around or set the table or whatever needs to be done. They pitch in. We’re in this together.
Second, I don’t usually do the food all myself. When people say “What can I bring?” I actually tell them. Did you know there is nothing that requires you to say – “Oh no! Nothing at all.”? Yep. Just answer them with something genuine that they can bring.
I typically tell people what I will have when I invite them. So, if it’s a dinner party, I may say “I’ve got a beef tenderloin” and then ask people to bring something that works with that. When we throw a Halloween party for the kids, I say “I’ll have hot dogs and Sangria – bring whatever else you would like to have.” Each year we have a rockin’ End of Summer party – and I do the same.
It works beautifully for me, AND you know what I think is the best part? It makes people feel more comfortable! And that makes me an even more amazing hostess!
I also always make sure that I have either some beer and wine or a cocktail on hand. Sangria is a favorite. That’s just how we roll. You may be directed to where it is and invited to get it yourself, but it’s here!
Make Preparation & Easy Clean Up Easy
Second, spending days on end cleaning my home to perfection stresses me out!!!! I don’t want you to think I have people coming over and my house will be gross – it won’t.  But there may be  a pile of paper on the desk. There may be other stacks of things which need to be organized. It won’t be perfect, and I’ve learned to be ok with it. I won’t spend time worrying about whether you’re judging my home.
I have a simple system for pulling it all together – stat! Check out my Behind the Scenes of an Easy 30-Minute Holiday Clean Up {Including a Printable Checklist}. It only takes  30 minutes or less and my house is ready for guests!
I laughed until I cried when I saw this video of “Gayle”  in “Company is Coming!” because I literally used to be her. But no more! My 3 Steps to a Home Fit for Company has changed that.
We LIVE in our home. All of us – including two spirited, imaginative, and vivacious  young boys and two dogs. If you’re coming to my home, you need to understand that. And my friends do. Cleaning up too much before the boys are grown is a lot like shoveling the sidewalk while the snow is still falling.
And cleaning up afterward needs to be super easy as well. I’ll work my 3 Steps one more time. After I’ve had a couple of days down time!
Say No So That You Can Entertain Shamelessly
Learn to say no. What you really want your life to be about is spending real time with close friends and people that make a positive difference in your life. Forget everything else.
So even more than ever, I look forward to times when I can gather with my friends knowing that I won’t be so stressed out. I know that I’ve only invited people who won’t stress me out or judge what may or may not have been done before they arrived. The only judge our time together by its quality.
So this means, no work parties at home and no huge neighborhood parties. It’s just not my jam and that’s ok.
I’d love to know if you already use one or more of these tips and any other tips you may have for thriving at social gatherings – even if you’re an introvert.
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