I loved this easy response to children when they are complaining that 'It's Not Fair!" www.themidlifemamas.com

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  1. If you think about it, a lot of adults tell kids it’s not fair if one kid gets a different treat. Or an extra turn on the monkey bars at recess. Or extra time to finish a task or assignment. Some teachers will deny special accommodations to students who need them, because “it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids.” When adults say this, they are implementing fairness at the level of a 6-year-old. There are 2 very important lessons children might not be learning when adults do this. One of those lessons is that not everything is fair all the time. Sometimes two people apply for the same job, but only one of them gets hired. Sometimes two kids apply to the same college, but only one gets accepted. Sometimes two people are exposed to the same illness, but only one gets sick. Another one of those lessons is as you mentioned, fairness doesn’t always mean using the exact same tactics with everyone. Babies and younger children usually require more attention than older children do. People with certain health conditions might require more attention than relatively healthy people. People with certain special needs might require more attention than people without (or with less serious) special needs. If someone needs certain accommodations, it’s usually because that is what that person needs in order to be successful, and you want as many people as possible to feel successful. Right? As the adult (or figure of authority) in the situation, you need to use your adult reasoning when it comes to fairness. NOT your 7-year-old reasoning

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