Child abuse isn't something we like to talk about, but we need to. We need to help one another heal; we need to discover what causes predatory behavior and figure out how to make it genuinely unacceptable. #stopbeforeitstarts www.themidlifemamas.com

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  1. Powerful post! It amazes me how much society chooses to practice “tolerance” instead of speaking up against this horror. Has this become the norm? So sad. I enjoyed your post and love the Dr. Angelou quote, too! 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by! The Dr. Angelou quote is one of my favorites of hers. Along with “When somebody shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” (I hope I got it right…)

  2. So many people brush it up under the rug or the first thing people say is well that person isn’t quite right in the head and try to make excuses. Great points and I myself find it strange that they put names to things like rape culture…when we name things it sometimes bothers me because for some it’s like it’s accepted.

  3. This is a great post. I cannot agree more with you about how such much stuff is just swept or locked away in today’s world. Wonderful post and thanks for having the courage to put all of this out there.

    1. Thank you for reading the post! Confession: I was pretty nervous about putting it out there. I do think, however, that it is part of our overall wellness as a society!

  4. All of these stats and lyrics…it’s all just so sad. It makes me sad to hear these songs and know that people actually like it, sing along to it, send it to friends. It all perpetuates this bad, bad thing, and I feel like it’ll just keep going so long as people with a louder voice continue to make it so.

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  5. In my case, I’m an overly protective mother and grandmother. Open discussion between family members and even friends to raise awareness on this evil perversion will help; and the more people are aware, the more it can be eradicated.

    1. Discussion is key. I just hate that I have to have it! But I have two boys and I want to make sure that they understand how to be kind, responsible young men. Thanks for reading!

  6. This was an interesting read and I see both sides in a way. I see where you are coming from but at the same time I don’t think of it that way personally. Yes, rape, sexual abuse, and even worse, your family covering it up is not okay but I don’t know that liking certain music is necessarily condoning it either.

  7. This was a thought provoking post. I’m not sure how much I blame music for what happened with the Duggars or other families….I tend to look at the parenting and lack of community. As a teacher I make it my goal to build a community within my classroom and strong relationships with my students and their parents so that I can be a support for whenever it might be needed.

  8. This is very honest and brave. Thank you for having the courage to speak up on this topic. Yes the world we live in now is a difficult place and parents/ adults need to be responsible.

  9. The statistics about this are absolutely scary. I hope some good can come out of this story and help to raise awareness that is much needed. Music is one scary influence on teens these days.

    1. I’ve even had a friend who’s a therapist in this area tell me that the stats I provided are wrong. It’s more like one in 2 or 2.5 women and 1 in 5 men. I didn’t put that…I just went with the “official” numbers. It’s all so disturbing. Thank you for reading and commenting!

  10. Such an interesting post and one which will no doubt spark thinking and debate. I have to say that whilst I’m against rape, anything which seems to wants to normalise it – that Blurred Lines song for example, I don’t think that it’s a song that will make someone go out and rape someone else. I was molested as a child and I know for sure that that person was not exposed to any songs/videos/movies of that nature when he did that to me. I think it’s something deep rooted in someone which causes them to act in such a disgusting way. That’s just my opinion.

    1. I do agree – I don’t think a song can make anyone go out and rape somebody. What I do know from personal experience growing up is that there were behaviors that I thought “everyone was doing.” I didn’t feel any peer pressure, per se, but I just felt like certain behaviors were ok – because everyone did them. They were acceptable and had been normalized. It wasn’t until I was grown up that I felt SO stupid… I figured out – geez! everyone wasn’t doing that! I think music lyrics and video images contribute greatly to that normalization of certain behaviors. Thank you so much for reading and giving your opinion.

  11. I think what was shocking one day to me was when the #yeseverywoman hashtag went big was having a conversation over coffee with some friends and discovering that each and every once of us had been sexually assaulted or molested at some point in our lives. Drugged date rape, a dentist, a babysitter’s boyfriend — the experiences were so widespread and pervasive, especially as some of us had grown up and experienced these things in different cultures.

    1. This is so shocking! All of you have been sexually assaulted. I’m so sorry. I’m hopeful that, as parents, we can teach both our girls and our boys a different way. I would love to teach boys not to rape. Instead of teaching girls how not to get raped. I’m a mom of two boys, so I’ll have to have some hard conversations with my boys. I’m so sorry for what happened to you. Thank you for reading.

  12. Thank you for this article. Not just the Duggar’s but most situations of high profile families are often kept quiet or dealt with far too privately. With reality TV, we the public are part of the problem. Thankfully I’ve not had such experiences, but I know many women who have been these things.

  13. Wow – incredibly thought provoking post you’ve written here. While I agree with a previous commenter that a song or a TV show may not necessarily make someone go out and rape someone else, that’s not to say that they don’t encourage the behavior. There are people out there who only need a trigger to do something wrong, and they could easily use media as their excuse. People have been doing it for years – remember when cigarette ads got pulled from magazines and billboards because they were promoting an unhealthy habit that way too many people were taking up to “look cool?” I feel like this is the same concept – but in this day and age, it’s a lot harder to just “pull” anything “rape culture” related, since it’s so ingrained in our society. Sickening. Thanks for speaking up! Maya Angelou was so wise!

  14. Very insightful! I have caught myself singing along with a song unconsciously and then when I actually think on what was said I am almost embarassed for even listening much less singing along.

    I think we do have a tendancy to simply agree or disagree to ourselves but then faily to express our support or disgust with a situation to anyone else. We simply think things will be what they are. Yet we can make a difference and it is so important not to forget that.

  15. This is a very powerful post. This Really enforces the power of the spoken word. I, personalky chhosebthe music i listen to carefully. I believe music, words in general, are powerful. You did an amazing job conveying your message!

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