5 Quick Wins to Crush Mom Guilt
Grrrrrr – why can’t I sleep? Toss, I’m too hot; turn, that’s too cold; or flip over to get a spaniel’s paw in my face. I’m exhausted, but thoughts are tumbling through my mind wondering whether I’ve been a lazy mama today. Or yesterday. What if I’ve blown it? I need a quick win.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed by mom guilt – I mean, we’re spending our days (and, seriously, our nights too) molding little humans. These humans are the future of our planet. No pressure. So often I wonder if I’m good enough or even enough at all. Am I the mother that they deserve?
And while I toss, turn, and flip, I try to come up with new and clever ideas for what I call “parenting quick wins.” Something new to try tomorrow.
But there are some terrific quick wins I’ve already tried that are really easy and that truly ease my mom guilt. And they’re great for my boys too. So I’m sharing my favorites here with you today.
Too many of us grow into adults that feel unworthy or unlovable. I want my boys to know that they are worthy and lovable.
Kids with healthy self-esteem are better equipped to deal with peer pressure and responsibility than kids who feel bad about themselves. Children with good self-esteem are also better able to deal with strong emotions, both good and bad, and to cope with challenges and frustrations when they arise. (cite)
I love this One Word to Encourage Self-Esteem and it works well with children of any age who fear that they can’t do something or are frustrated and want to give up. Don’t get me wrong – it certainly doesn’t do the whole job – but it’s a great tool. One word. Simple, quick, and effective.
Am I’m doing enough to Raise Fair Minded Kids. I’ve learned humility – raising fair-minded kids takes more dedication and effort than I ever could have imagined. I used to think children would just “get it.” But, as with everything else, they need our guidance and input to learn to value diversity. One of my steps toward raising fair-minded children is that I won’t teach my children racial tolerance.
My Type-A self completely freaks out when I see my boys’ playroom, a/k/a the “LEGO” room. I used to force my boys to “clean up” their LEGOs over pleas of “Mommy, this is my creation. We can’t clean it up! Please!! I worked so hard on it!” I gave in and I’m happy I did. Nowadays, I let my son leave his LEGOs all over the floor and this is why.
Trust. It’s huge. My boys experiment here and there with telling fibs; all kids do. When they fib I ask, “Does what you just told me make your heart happy? ” “Are you proud of what you said just then?” There are plenty of times that his little head hangs, and I hear, “no.”
But far more often, and always about important things, I believe my boys. Sometimes, it feels hard to believe. But I believe in my sons. And it’s important to me that they always know that I trust them. As they get older, I expect it to become more of a challenge. But if you are in trouble, if you need help, if you just need me to listen, I will always believe you. It’s one of the best ways I know to keep my boys safe.
Sometimes, what kids need to be successful may surprise you. Generally, they need time to be children. To develop in age-appropriate ways that allow them to practice their social skills and emotional regulation. Here are the top 5 ways to provide them with these skills so that they will be ready to conquer to world!
These are terrific super quick wins – sometimes involving only one word. When you wonder if you are enough, remember that you are their perfect mother – imperfections and all. And remember that what they need more than anything is to know that you love them. They forgive just about everything else!
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